It’s really tough to find a good Halloween costume you can wear while riding your bike. It can’t get caught in your chain, it has to fit under or over your helmet, and you have to be able to see out of it when in riding position.

Fortunately, most Halloween parties don’t require much riding.

Here are a few ideas for any situation:

doctor with USADA badge

Most Frightening to Fellow Cyclists: USADA Drug Tester

If you scare the pants off your fellow cyclists (literally, if they think you need to collect a urine sample,) go dressed as a USADA Drug Tester.

For men, all you need to wear are khakis and a navy blue polo shirt. The shirt should be tucked in and you should have a belt too, to look professional. Then slap a big “USADA” badge on your chest. You could do up a fancy one on a lanyard, or simply use one of those “Hi, My Name Is” stickers.

For extra effect, carry around some little plastic sample cups full of lemonade and plastic syringes full of beet juice!

Women can wear the same (khaki pants and navy blue shirt,) or do a little variation by combining this idea with the uber-popular sexy nurse costume!

 

pro cyclist from doping era

Best Fantasy Costume: Tour de France Winner

You probably aren’t a big-time pro, so, why not be one on Halloween?

If you want to be a clean champion, just don a yellow jersey with your normal cycling kit. Carry around a bouquet of flowers for good measure.

For old times sake, you could also pay homage to the past doping culture. Make a fake blood bag to carry around (or get some candy blood,) and don’t get caught without a fake syringe, testosterone patches, make-up kit to hide injection sites, etc.

Even better, go with the full USPS team kit, sometimes still found on eBay! 😉

 

triathlete tim reed short shorts

Most Likely to be Ridiculed: Triathlete

Going to a party full of dedicated cyclists? Are you the class clown type?

Then go as a triathlete! Requirements include knee-high compression socks or calf compression sleeves, sleeveless tri top, short shorts, aero helmet, and a shaved body. A Fuel Belt wouldn’t hurt. If you are willing to go as Tim Reed (pictured above,) throw in a mustache and trucker hat!

Be sure to write your race number on your upper arms and calves in Sharpie!

In lieu of candy, hand out GU energy gels!

 

prickly cactus costume

Perennial Favorite: Any sharp object

Don’t want to offend anyone? Go as a sharp object!

Nails and tacks are good choices. Bonus points if you can incorporate an old bike tire or tube to illustrate the ‘flat tire’ joke.

Live in the Southwest? Go in a cactus costume.

 

man in Twinkie costume

Applicable to Any Fitness-Oriented Group: A Twinkie

Sure to elicit junk food cravings from your peers, you could go as a Hostess Twinkie. Yep, you can get an actual Hostess Twinkie costume. In men’s or women’s versions.

There are also costumes for cookies, doughnuts, and more!

Make sure you carry around some extra Twinkies to tempt your friends and foes!

 

What are you going to be for Halloween?

 

2 Comments
  1. Hilarious!!!

  2. My wife and I are going on a tandem ride that day, so since we’ll be with bicyclists all day and night, I’m going with the USADA idea… with lemonade and tomato juice… with fellow riders’ names on the jars! For anyone who beats us, which will be the entire group…

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