floyd landis in yellow jersey

As the news (and opinions) keep on coming regarding Floyd Landis and the doping scandal during the 06 Tour, things are starting to make sense. Actually, as far as the reports go, nothing really makes sense. But when you read between the lines and think about the other issues at hand, things come into focus…

For starters, there are probably two names that come to mind when you think of doping in cycling – Floyd Landis and Lance Armstrong. Why is that? Because of all the propaganda issued by those that did not win the Tour de France!

Ever since Americans started to dominate professional cycling, there has been a lot of hate coming from other countries.

France hasn’t claimed a Tour de France victory in quite some time, so they have every right to be pissed off. But instead of doing something respectable, they have tried to implicate Armstrong as a doper any way they can. There were so many made up stories I can’t remember them all! Germans were pretty pissed too, as Ullrich just couldn’t manage to beat Armstrong when it counted. Again, I can’t blame them for their thoughts, but c’mon.

Now that Landis has achieved an eighth consecutive Tour victory for America, that was just too much. All the Europeans were expecting American cycling to falter without Lance. Well, they were wrong, and Floyd’s performance pushed them over the edge.

So everyone is pissed off. The racers, the sponsors, families, even the general public. With all the scandals and even scandals behind the scandals, it’s the sport’s reputation itself that stands to lose the most. (Which is another discussion in and of itself…)

The fighting and bickering is only natural though, like I said. Think about this – if a Frenchman were to come here and win the [fictional] Tour de Tex, with Lance coming in second, you can bet there’d be trouble! As they say, “Don’t mess with Texas!”

But here’s the coincidence I alluded to in the title. Right before the Prologue, Spain’s “Operation Puerto” kicked the two top GC picks, Ullrich and Basso, right out of the Tour. Then with Vino’s team problems, the top spot looked to be up for grabs! Every team thought they had a chance, and they would stop at nothing to get there.

Pre-tour status: Three down, one to go…

Then somehow a Spaniard (who at one point was down by like 30 minutes) places second overall in GC. I’m sure Spain was pumped about that, but they surely wanted that yellow jersey. If only they could start up a ruckus about Floyd taking extra testosterone… bam! Pereiro becomes the champion. Coincidence???

And did you ever think about this – Floyd made up about 11 minutes after bonking, but Pereiro was able to make up an almost 30 minute deficit earlier in the race! Hmm…

I really wonder if we are dealing with actual doping or a much bigger problem – sore losers and corrupt officials. So until they can prove that all these drug tests are unbiased and unflawed, I’m sticking with Floyd!

(Yes, I’m old fashioned and still believe in “innocent until proven guilty” by a jury of your peers.)

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9 Comments
  1. This is a truly hilarious post…you are a comic genius! I laughed so hard my eyes watered and my sides hurt. Keep up the good work.

  2. Levi,

    Great anaylsis and angle! To be honest with you, it’s one that I didn’t really even consider, but, upon closer inspection, I guess it does have some viabiltiy. I’m still wondering why Landis was tested 9 times during the tour while Pereiro was only tested 4 times for doping. Since Pereiro was ultimately named the winner, doesn’t that mean he should be subjected to the same witch hunt and incredulity? I guess the Spanish Inquisition pardons its own. However….

    I’m no doctor, and I don’t play one on tv on Thursday nights at 10pm, but I just can’t simply disregard the highly incriminating lab results. Landis had a testosterone to epitestosterone ration of 11:1! The allowable ratio under WADA rules is 4:1. I just dont’ know how you logically explain something like that. I realy want to believe Landis, but its hard to do so with a test result like that. With that being said, I do admire Landis’ adamant and resolute fight. He’s offering up every excuse that he can from cortisone to alcohol. Plus, he hasn’t hidden from the media (see Larry King interview)so I can respect him for that. Still, the cynic in me wonders if Landis has just simply become so immersed in the drug-excuse American culture (see Barry Bonds and a stable of American sprinters) that nothing seems too preposterous.

    Overall, I don’t know how it will shake out, but I really hope Landis is absolved. Coming from relative obscurity, his stirring victory was one of the feel good sports stories of the year.

  3. Landis was tested the number of times that he was
    based on the days he spent in the leaders jersey
    and for stage(s) that he won. Pereiro was tested
    likewise. There was no conspiracy. Also I’m baffled at this premise that the Spanish had anything to do with Landis’ testosterone problem.
    They had nothing to do with the test or the Tour itself.
    Regarding the comparison between Landis making up 11 minutes and Pereiro making up 30 minutes, Landis’ team could have chased down Pereiro had they chose to as could any of the other GC contenders teams. They all made the decision that
    Pereiro was not a threat and they all paid for it.

  4. That might be the dumbest bit on pro cycling I’ve ever read. I feel more stupider for having read the whole thing.

  5. Floyd cheated. Get over it.

  6. @bok

    Glad to see someone appreciates the lighter side of doping!

  7. I’m keeping a rundown of news/comment on Floyd at http://trustbut.blogspot.com

  8. At least Stephen Colbert knows whats up. If you didn’t like this post maybe you’ll enjoy the humor in his videos?

  9. It’s pathetic how Landis supporters will grasp at any straw and sieze upon any conspiracy theory to avoid facing reality. Ever heard of Occam’s razor? Gee… Ullrich cheated, Basso cheated, Pantani, Virenque, etc… and that’s just what we KNOW.

    Testoserone in small dosages (like a patch or creme applied directly to the scrotum) effectively improves recovery time. Landis tested positive in DOUBLE BLIND TESTS TWICE for synthetic testoserone.

    DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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