Almost as mysterious and magical as shaved legs is this substance known as chamois butter, or chamois cream.

From the name you can figure out it’s a cream that goes on your chamois. But why? And does it really go on the chamois? Do we even use chamois today? But we still need chamois cream?

It’s time to answer these questions and more! Let’s get past all the myths and folk lore, and get into some practical tips and real advice on how and why to use this cream…

What the heck is a chamois?

When it comes to cycling, the chamois is the piece of padding found in bicycling shorts, with the purpose of providing increased comfort for long days in the saddle.

The name comes from the olden days when this pad was actually made from chamois cloth, a type of sheepskin leather. Today, most shorts feature a synthetic chamois, usually made of foam, gel, and/or microfiber cloth. It serves the same purpose but is cheaper and easier to maintain.

It is pronounced “shammy” or “sham E.”

Where does the chamois butter come in?

For a real leather chamois, you used to need chamois butter to condition it. It’s like how you have to oil a leather baseball mitt to break it in and keep it pliable. You would apply the cream to the chamois itself, or else it would stiffen up after it was washed and dried.

These days you don’t technically need any sort of chamois butter since a synthetic chamois will remain soft and pliable on its own.

Do my shorts have a real or synthetic chamois?

The simple answer is that if the shorts are new enough that you are still wearing them today, the chamois is probably synthetic. If it looks anything like the one pictured to the right, it’s synthetic.

Then why should I use chamois butter?

Since your synthetic chamois will be fine without chamois butter, it is technically unnecessary.

However, “lubing” your butt (and other body parts that contact the chamois) is still a good idea. It reduces friction between your skin and the chamois, which will prevent chafing, which will lessen the chance of saddle sores.

Personally I have found chamois cream most useful on shorts with a weird looking chamois, or one with seams all over. For example, one of my shorts uses a terribly rough seam to join the chamois to the lycra, and it digs right into my butt cheek. Without chamois cream, I can’t wear the shorts.

So it’s like the holy grail?

To some people, yes. To others, chamois butter is a waste of time and money. It is all about personal preference.

If you have the perfect saddle, positioning, and shorts, working in harmony with your body, chamois butter is probably not necessary. But it could still enhance comfort.

Couldn’t it damage my expensive shorts?

It is possible that the type of chamois butter you use could shorten the lifespan of your expensive shorts. For example, Vaseline soaks in and doesn’t come out, so it then soaks into your saddle, too, leaving it slippery.

But I look at it in a different light…

Could chamois butter make an old chamois comfortable again? Yes it could.

So how do I apply this chamois butter?

If you have a genuine leather chamois, you need to condition the chamois itself. However, with a new synthetic chamois, you have two options: lathering it on the chamois, or just putting the cream on your skin.

I choose to apply the cream directly to my skin, wherever my body makes contact with the chamois. Anywhere down there that might chafe or rub on the saddle, or a seam, whatever. I consider it more of a “skin lubricant” than a chamois cream, but the “chamois cream” name kind of stuck.

When you apply the cream to your body, you can get it right where you want it. Not only on skin-to-chamois contact points, but also on skin-to-skin contact points that might rub. You’ll learn from experience where is best for you.

How much do I apply?

Usually you only need a thin layer to do the job.

I used to use a thick glob, thinking that would increase the padding offered by my chamois. Well, all that does is soak through the shorts down to your expensive leather saddle, and it doesn’t add more padding.

So I have decided a small amount is best.

Why is it so expensive?

Most boutique brands of chamois butter are quite expensive. For example, Assos costs about $22 for a tiny container. But even other brands like Paceline Chamois Butt’r are still much more expensive than regular skin creams.

There are a few reasons for this. First, the branding. Some of the brands charge lots of money for their products so you perceive them to be better quality. Second, they are designed to easily wash out and not to harm your chamois. Third, they may contain expensive ingredients.

But for the most part, you’re just paying for the brand name.

Is there any sort of cheaper alternative?

Yes indeed. There are a number of cheap substitutes that work just fine. Some popular choices are Bag Balm, Queen Helene’s Cocoa Butter Creme, Udderly Smooth, and Noxzema Cream.

Those are all worth a shot. It’s also worth noting that the Noxzema Original Cream contains neat ingredients – camphor, menthol, and eucalyptus – like Assos does.

The only product I would avoid is Vaseline. I just don’t think it mixes well with expensive leather saddles, and it doesn’t come out in the wash, so you’re kind of stuck with it after one use!

What else should I know?

You should know that trying some chamois butter is a great idea. I went without it for years, but once I tried it, I started to use it almost all the time.

Looking for a low-price chamois cream? There are a few good options out there that don’t require you to pay a premium price for a tiny tube, and Queen Helene’s Cocoa Butter Creme is one that I love.

Considering that the point of chamois cream is to prevent chafing, I don’t see a good reason to buy something special. Lots of skincare products provide the same function but cost 50-90% less!

Queen Helene’s products are a great example – good stuff, but cheap and can be easily found online or in stores like Wal-Mart. This 15oz jar was about $5. (While Assos chamois cream is an astonishing $22 for a tiny 5oz jar.)

This Cocoa Butter Creme is a blend of natural cocoa butter and pure lanolin, two ingredients that do wonders to protect and moisturize your skin. It just so happens that it has another use…

The Chamois Cream Test

The benefits of cocoa butter and lanolin make this a great substitute for expensive chamois creams!

All you have to do is apply a thin layer of the creme to your crotch/butt before a ride, and any chafing problems should vanish. I’ve been fortunate enough to not have any serious issues with saddle sores, so I rode for years (doing some 100+ mile rides) without any sort of chamois cream. But now that I have seen the light, I won’t go back!

When I first started using this stuff, I just piled it on, thinking a thick layer would be like having extra padding. Well, all the excess just oozed through my shorts, so I decided a thin layer would do the trick, and I was right. (The point is not to add extra padding, but to lubricate your skin.)

Queen Helene’s does the trick on 3 hour rides, but the benefits seem to fade on 4-8 hour rides, especially on hot, sunny days. In that case you might want to reapply along the way.

Problem is, a 15 oz jar of this isn’t something to carry in your jersey pocket. So, for reapplications on long rides, you might want to carry a small 2oz tube of Udderly Smooth.

But a jar of Queen Helene’s Cocoa Butter Creme is a great thing to have in your medicine cabinet!

(And Queen Helene uses no animal testing and they are an environmentally concerned company, for what it’s worth.)

My final verdict is…

This is a great chamois butter at an even better price. If you don’t want to spend lots of money on high-end chamois creams, or if you’ve never tried chamois creams, get some of this today! It’s cheap and the 15oz jar lasts forever!

You can use it all over your body, too. It feels good and rubs in nicely. It’s great for soothing dry or wind burnt skin. How can you resist?

Official site: www.queenhelene.com (they do a whole line of skin creams)

Buy online: at Amazon.com